It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize