It's like God shit irony all over that family
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
