So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
