He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
