Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
