I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Randomize
