your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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