I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
