Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He shit in the fireplace
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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