I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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