I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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