He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
