I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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