we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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