she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
