Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize