It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
