Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
