you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
