since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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