i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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