I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
