I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
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I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
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Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.