I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.