i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.