I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
28 Completely Safe For Work Pictures Of Genitals
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
This Twitter User’s Story About Meeting A Notorious Serial Killer Will Leave You Shook
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.