she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here