i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
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I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
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Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma