Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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