feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
