what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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