I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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