he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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