I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
