I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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