Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
