I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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