the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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