loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize