Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
