you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
