come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
