pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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