I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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