I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Can you bring me the toilet please
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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