we're blogging at a bar
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
