I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
did you just send me my own nude
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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