I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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