My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
