Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
