i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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