I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
