You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Randomize
