seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
