but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
