i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
