? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
