please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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