Kiss
Puke
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
