so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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