Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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