just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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